oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
