What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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