Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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