I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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