We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
