Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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