I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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