If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
