Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
