it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
