you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
