Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
my liver is dry heaving
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
