I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You've changed since you got that strap on
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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