my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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