I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
