is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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