So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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