you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
