Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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