Me too!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
