can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
time to smoke my breakfast
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
