There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
