dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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