yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
