You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
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What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
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omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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