Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
