I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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