Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
