he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize