Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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