But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
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I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
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they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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