the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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