Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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