I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
