I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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