Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
