it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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