Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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