i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
