I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
