I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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