He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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