I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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