its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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