UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
