oh god the rape fog is back!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Watching her eat just hurts me
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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