my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
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My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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