And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i believe in u and ur pee
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize