So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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