I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
