I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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