would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
