it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
