and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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