Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
