if you like me you must not know who I am
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
