Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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