I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize