The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
