Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Fuck appropriateness.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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