We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
