your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
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